he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
I'm watching Terminator eating a jar of marshmallow fluff. Trust me, you are not fat.
First shot of my 21st. 11 a.m. in econ class. Success.
I feel uncockblockable...banged her in the bathroom with my iv still in
She tried to cook Velveeta IN the oven on clean mode.
Ordered a large pizza and definitely just paid the cab driver in pizza slices. I'm glad there's someone out there that's just as fat at heart as we are.
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
There are six slides. In going to pee in five of them. You have to guess which one to go down. Agree?
Agreed.
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
It's been awhile, you pregnant yet?
Well at least ssomeone is or the state is tafing over ir in twligiob
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Last night I realized I made a dick appt 2 MONTHS IN ADVANCE!!!!....... WHO THE HELL DOES THAT!?!? LMAO!
Randomize
