Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
you just love her because she lets you bang her with fruits and veggies!
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
Why I am the classiest girl you know: just mixed drinks for everyone on the baby changing station at the movie theater.
As im putting my laundry in the machine, i find a solo cup and a pong ball that i signed babe ruth
He's coming over tonight...I really wish I didn't have my period right now...
I believe I'm witnessing the first time ever that you wished your period would NOT come....
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I feel like I got hit by a bus. A head on collision with my vag.
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
Holy sore nipples Batman
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
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