the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
my hangover today makes thursday's feel like a bubble bath.
I woke up this morning and the first thing i saw was the harry potter tattoo on his left butt cheek.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
I don't know what kind of drugs you were on last night but you kept trying to highlight my face because you said I was important
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just saw a crackhead get taken down by pd in the canal. Its offically spring
We're at the hospital. She got a head rush and fell and now blood everywhere. Smoke the rest, just save her a bowl
So. I need to gloat. I couldn't exactly tell my family that I won this game by deep throating.
I was thinking that maybe I should not apply to Wells Fargo because they def have me on candid camera taking a drunken nap at 3am in their lobby.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
Now that I'm sober I feel the need to tell you that I'm not really a fish whisperer....
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