So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
today is like waiting for pizza day in elementary school, but with sex added
you were watching a documentary about sharks and wouldn't stop stroking my legs and whispering "what if they could walk?"
I woke up naked in my own vomit. Not even in my bed. No one is happy.
oh and if she happens to say anything about a cantalope and tissues... just go with it
the higher we get, the more he looks like ray charles.
We're past the whole "Did she just try to finger my ass?" Stage. Now it's encouraged.
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
I didn't realize how hungover I was until I fell asleep in my math lecture, and woke up I'm my history class. How is got there still remains a mystery...
I'm pretty sure I have PMS because I almost just cried about not being able to find a place that gives acrobat classes here.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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