Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
I have never smelled more like a drunk mariachi band than I do right now.
there's chocolate cake in my bathtub.. I don't even want to know how the hell chocolate cake wound up in my tub..
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
The 12 year old son winked and made eyes at me while his father fed me vodka gummy bears. Gameday yo
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Legitimately sent a work email with "Hey, you kids, get off my lawn" as the subject line.
ORGASMS AND PIZZA
PIZZA AND ORGASMS
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
She has no problem going ass to mouth, but won't eat the pizza crust. I don't get it.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I woke up spooning with two strangers on Saturday morning... I felt like a sexual sandwich
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
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