Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
we put the last xanax in the middle and played hungry hungry hippos to see whod get it
fair is fair
I'm way to drunk for this play. I'm about to run up on stage and drop the main character
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
i don't care if its just a preseason game, my pick up a guy and suck him off in the bathroom skills are in midseason form
How many tongue depressors should I need to steal from urgent care to make samurai armor?
She's drunk as hell locked up I. The bathroom with my shoes where do I go from here
I used my yoga mat as a door stop so he couldn't come into my room when i was sleeping last night. Drunk engineering at its finest
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
At this point all my Tinder matches are telling me I'll be fucking the whole male population of UMass '17.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
random boy in my bed. last night wasnt a dream. fuck.
Randomize
