I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
smell my finger.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I guess I tried to show you how big my closet was and we ended up eating pickles in my bathroom
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
What time do you think you'll be heterosexual?
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
You were so proud of your stupid "magic trick" but all you did was piss on the couch. don't talk to me for a few days.
I woke up with my vibrator in my bed so I'm assuming I had a decent night.
The appetizer at the dinner I went to tonight was Klonopin and a Bloody Mary.
His wedding band got caught on my nipple ring and that's how I realized he was married
I walked into your room and you were wearing party beads, a foam finger, and reading the dictionary. Good night?
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
Randomize
