I bought the tickets, he brought the weed. thanks to you, we had to roll a joint out of my bible paper.
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
when she started singing "you look better when im drunk" to my cat i realized it was time to take her home
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
I think I left my camera at your house. It would be in both of our best interests if you don't go through the pics.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
there are casual beer cans in all of the public trashes, i belong here
There are 27 signatures on my ass. What the hell happened last night?
Every time someone made a cup you congratulated them by letting them sign your ass.
I need to stop ravaging the freshman dorm like a virginity-snatching dragon.
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
Quick I need a sexy way to say "suck your balls"
gonna stay in tonight
and im a platypus. shotgun a beer and get your dick to this party. ive got some hot friends visiting
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