Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
proudest moment: just made a guy walk into a parked car with his mouth hanging open cause of the shirt im wearing.
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
Someone downtown drunkenly stole the antenna off of her car... while she was driving.
I hate that we are older than the real world people now
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
Did I put a bunch of spaghetti on you and then eat it off?!?
That you did
I'm in his bed. I got up to puke. Im one eyeing it eating a hot dog bun. Wtf. This is my life
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Just got done being naked and Mooning the cops. I'm still alive. Let's drink.
Randomize
