im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I kept resisting the urge to yell "2 for 2!" so they could hear me on the other side of the wall.
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
I woke up at 4 am to a guy curled up in the fetal position sobbing in our front yard. Oh college.
I think everyone, including the amish, know who you are after this weekend.
I was just wicked nice to a telemarketer... that's how stoned this woman got me.
He meowed while sucking on my nipple, it got even weirder when he said he was trying to moo.
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
A picture of a damn cupcake brought back 3 fuckboys
My inner 10 year old alcoholic is intrigued.
Does this cleavage amount say, “Fuck it, I’m over dating, let’s just fuck?”
the coup got in the way of sex but inauguration day came thru we did it joe
Randomize
