im sorry i didnt take advantage of you..iwaned to
i wanted you to too
yesterday i saw a blind man guiding himself into a NYC tour bus... and i thought i waste money
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
its official. the only way for my hair to look good is to blow somebody
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
You should be glad you didn't come with last night. I watched pirate porn for the first time in my life as the 9th wheel.
Still not over the fact that we prayed to Jesus to help us win beer pong
Mom just sent me an email. The subject line is "How to avoid a urinary tract infection"
LET IT GO MOM
It's not your birthday unless mom picks you up at the bar
bitch dont make me pour hotsauce in your vagina
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
I felt like I needed to shower with a Mr. Clean Magic Eraser.
and then she sorta stared at me like "holy shit" and I looked down and my dog was licking her ass
Ruff night.
Randomize
