His facebook profile says he's interested in men, but i'm choosing to ignore that
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
Home remedy for the herp. Black tea. I need to strap teabags to my wang.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
Nope. Can't afford girlfriends. Still looking for the 25 year old bisexual tripled who owns a brewery or a casino.. the search continues....
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I thought it went well, but he just sent me a video of me sucking an icicle on the fire escape of his building with the caption "The ice got more than I did." Somehow I feel like I owe him a blowjob.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
I hate who I am becoming
I think of it as growth but I also hate who I am becoming as well
I woke up and found that i was using my computer as a pillow. i had 53 pages of random letters on Microsoft word
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
Lady at the airport across from me just pulled a cat out of her bag. can't deal with this right now..
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