My kitchen smells like failed pina coladas.
Idk what else to talk about besides you paying for half of my vaginaplasty.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
MANGO MOTHERFUCKING GODDAMN MARGARITA DELICIOUSNESS
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
They had to stop us from skinny dipping in the reflection pool of the Mormon temple.
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
I vaguely remember us chasing shots by licking each other's faces last night. Our friendship has reached another level completely.
Seriously just told the plant the cheese Pringles are mine.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
he asked if he should bring the trash can into the room.. apparently i shoved my finger all over his face and said.. shhhh dont talk... just take your pants off.
Randomize
