she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
thats it. im googling how to make you boobs smaller. this is getting out of control.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
she moved to the other side of town, do you realize how far i gotta walk to get a blow job???
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
diet's not working. come over. i need someone to fuck the hungry out of me.
Her boyfriend caught us fucking and said "cool you're cheating too" and left.
You live a charmed life.
Ski vacations are for hooking up with randoms. It's like I don't even know you
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
Googled 'how drunk am I' and it was NOT helpful
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Randomize
