If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
First lesson of the year: don't close the bar on mondays
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
Apparently she saw two women get in a slapping match over a comforter at target yesterday. She said it was awesome. Clearly I take after her.
It's like the bermuda triangle of cat puke
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
I resisted the temptation to hold the cake in one hand to alternate bites with the ruffles I was eating. I decided that might make me look dysfunctional.
If he's the sort of guy that will fuck in a public restroom, he's the sort of guy that will cheat on his gf. I'm goin for it.
Hey, remember when Hot Stuff played in the back of the ambulance? Or no, cause of your concussion...
ok thanks goodnight
Also before you go to bed i just have to get it out there that i really like macklemore as a person
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
She says the reason I don't talk to her is because I'm "emotionally lazy" what ever that means
Randomize
