I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
I had sex with billy mayes last night. HE KEPT IN CHARACTER THE WHOLE TIME.
we have to get out to the bar earlier. all of the guys are already committed to the girls they're going home with.
he was wearing a tuxedo, i was naked...it's a long story.
i told her she would have to blow me everytime we lost a game of beer pong, she never noticed i purposely hit our opponents in the face every other shot
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I smell like hot dogs and captain morgan it's 11:20 am what is my life
Can't be like "hey can you elaborate on this three year old tweet" can I?
all I remember the next morning was crawling through the doggy door and finding my underwear in my purse
Idk if my headache is from the alcohol, the pot brownies, or being dragged down 8 flights of stairs by my ankles because i passed out in the 12th floor girls bathroom by you. Probably a combo of all three.
You said you're gonna end your night with a six pack and awful erotica
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
Randomize
