i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
home. puking in laundry basket.
ok, I understand that your bathroom door is broken, but at least close the blinds next time you take a shit. The entire parking garage just watched you.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
Can I color on your dick again?
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
I won't trust your judgement until the word stripper doesn't make me laugh
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
The fact that he offered to stop once he stuck it in my ass was sadly the most considerate thing anybody's ever done for me.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
HOW CAN YOU EXPECT ME TO KEEP YOUR SECRETS IF YOU KEEP ON TELLING ME THEM.
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
21st birthday weekend in Vegas has concluded and all I'm missing is my underwear and 'Contacts' icon on my phone home screen.
Randomize
