I always wonder when I meet a guy from online if he needs a moment to mentally register and accept the size of my ass. maybe ill wear a dress.
We may or may not have a drunk cat on our hands.
My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Yeah, my mom walked in on us. Instead of yelling, she went and hid in the bathroom til we finished. It was pretty classy.
You weren't lying about those ceramics students giving the best hand jobs.
Drunk at a girls little league game. Hello summer.
She was indeed spoonfeeding you potato salad out of that giant bowl with a giant spoon. Dont feel special, she was giving it to everyone that left the bar.
no one is here. wer drinking in the beer garden in the dark and we stole a bucket of blue paint off the sidewalk. now her legs are blue.
duuuude the clock in this car says its 85 past 19.
dear god, who put you in a cab?
thanks for not telling him i named my trumpet after his dick
He made me cum via FaceTime, then he made me look at his stock investment charts..
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
I have a hunchback of notre dame journal from when I was 6 wherein sits a diary entry that reads "saw liar liar today. Carrey's best yet" and that's all.
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
