I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
He might have if you were a little more subtle about your feelings instead of telling everyone multiple times how much you wanted his dick
it's gotten to the point where there are no existing good choices. even our good choices are bad choice by anyone's standards but ours.
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
I was just like oh sorry I'm peeling meanwhile my legs are on either side of his head and I look like a fucking Komodo dragon
WHAT THE FUCK KIND OF NINTENDO FILLED GLORIOUS ENCHANTING FANTASY LAND ARE YOU IN?! DUDE DID YOU MOVE TO THE 90S?!?!?!
Last night I made him sit on my bed and finish my burrito bowl as I chanted "brucey" over and over until he was done like they did in Matilda with the chocolate cake
Idk you're asking me for advice on dating bro, after I told you I got a convicts number today.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
Hey, thanks for helping me this morning
Always a pleasure to feed you bread as your body lay crumpled on the floor.
We're on our way. We couldn't find our clothes this morning, so we're driving your car half naked. You owe me a cigarette.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize