Hahaha figures, hmm should I spank you? Or throw a cow at you?
problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
she refuses to pay for the plan b and so do i. it's the most dangerous game of chicken i've ever been involved in. but i have my pride.
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
You chest bumped everyone we walked by on the way home... Even girls
I just used a beer funnel to put gas in my car
I thought my broken hand would put a damper on Halloween, but fake costume eyelashes and hydrocodone are kinda fun at the same time.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Pretty sure the cop told you that you were the first person he pulled over for being drunk on a tractor. So there's that.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
I'm pretty sure I naked in my first year of college more than I was as a baby.
Why are we so out going and care free I can't wait for maturity to kick in so we stop having 700 dollar bar tabs
Randomize
