playing new game: drink everytime u see someone at the beach with a tramp stamp, double if u guess it before u see it, triple for male tramp stamps
warning: blackouts possible when playing in ocean city or anywhere in new jersey
the third sister isn't as attractive as the other two but I will do her anyway to finally pull off the fabled family hat trick.
hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
he said he "kind of had sex before.. Barely" i think it was one of those situations where you slide into home and get tagged out.
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Why is your name on a gluestick in a plastic baggy stuck to my door?
I walked into the bathroom of the hotel and she's in the bath tub with a guy she met a day ago. They were sharing a shrimp cocktail platter and shot gunning bud lights. Oh and it was noon.
He pulled the pencil out of my leg and then we fucked. It felt sorta like pulp fiction in reverse.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
That makes 14 Xmas cards already! Middle aged people are really nice to their dealers.
I wore sunglasses to take a shower. I might be hungover.
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I woke up in a cornfield to shouting, a bottle of Jim Beam, and a bunch of mc muffins. If this doesn't scream Illinois, idk what does.
Randomize
