does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
Just drive me around campus, I will be able to smell their innocence.
He sat there and debated the pros and cons of hooking up with me
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
Eating a popsicle in the shower was the best idea I've had in ages.
did you know gatorade and rum go really good together
Are you doing depressed science again
maybe
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
Randomize
