just took my abortion antibiotic with my martini. i no longer wonder how i got into this situation.
he is a creepy guy.
yea thats what heroine does to ppl.
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I'll call it a relationship when I stop masturbating after he goes to sleep
Uh, do you remember who's thong is in my tree?
The video of him doing the dougie made me telling him I didn't want a relationship, just his virginity so much easier.
I dunno what he did but it both burns and feels amazing to pee
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
So the contents found in my winter coats this year: coat 1, condom and 10$. Coat 2, condom and 75$ check. Coat 3, 2.05$ and a sunflower seed.
Obviously coat 3 had the best time since you used the condom and all of the money
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
You get 5 min
Your time limits don't scare me, I'll include foreplay and redressing in that 5 min. If you wanted to challenge me you should say you got an hour, id be scared then and more creative.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
But what I'm actually thinking about is how everyone except me had sex on my bed this weekend and now I'm just sleeping in it with a 7 foot tall blue panda
alright well you definitely hurt his feelings though you told him he looked like he was going to an Amish community prayer meeting..
Randomize
