He said if I blew him first he'd last longer....if 3 minutes is lasting longer, I'm not sure the bj was worth it
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
My goal of the day is to not shit myself. That's it. Setting the bar real low
Im just using you for your dick and your superb survival skills if needed.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
There's no discreet way to sneak a cucumber into the shower lol
Its 11am and I'm eating gummi bears and drinking Tennessee honey in my underwear...this is why I'm self employed
Sorry I peed on your ottoman
How does one take the "you're the best sex I've ever had but I'm marrying someone that's sub-par in the sack" mind fuck?
I pity the fool.
Thanks Mr T.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
The lady at the liquor store in my hometown just gave ran around the corner and gave me a hug when I came back from being gone for a couple months. My life is complete.
Look at us. Planning our business meeting. Including snacks like shrooms & trail mix.
also, i'm not sure if i'm proud to say this but our regional manager's hot fiance was grinding on me at the reception while he stood and watched.
i suppose that explains why he told me he plans on promoting you this Friday.
Randomize
