Dude I think you forgot how to talk last night. We kept asking if you wanted a condom and you just smiled and made weird noises...
I called him Han Solo during sex, he looked at me like he was mortified then I realized he came.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Would it be sharing too much to tell you that my nipples hurt so much that I couldn't comfortably go down the stairs?
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
just got home to find my brothers naked on the floor covered in chocolate. i am now nervous about sleeping in the same room as them
He asked me not to hook up with anyone else because it would hurt his feelings.. while his arm was around his pregnant girlfriend.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
It's been 12 hours since I have heard from you and social media has given me no indication you are anything but dead, so that's what I'm going with.
just give up on your dreams and come get shit house drunk with me.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
You seem like the type to go to a craft sale baked out of your mind. I like you.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
