i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
She just looked at him and said "I'm gonna fuck that" and it totally worked.
If we don't have crazy animal sex tonight at least twice, I'll know he's cheating on me.
Who wouldn't want crazy animal sex with you?!
A cheater.
So I just got drugs from a house with a giant cross on it. Thank you, Jesus.
Turns out the bartender I fucked is the bar owner. WHY THE FUCK DO I PAY FOR HALF MY DRINKS? IS SEX NOT TIP ENOUGH?
We've been watching Scooby Doo and having sex for the past 36 hours, so life is great
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
I feel like dick that good should always be within a five kilometre radius of me.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
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