Who do you think planted the wheat? Who do you think cleared the land and killed off the native inhabitants? Women?
I showed him my bush... on skype.
I think I have a pornographic memory.
Don't you mean photographic?
No.
This is the guy who showed up to the first day of class with a 24 pack of coke and a handle of rum in his backpack. He doesnt play by normal people rules.
It started as a joke and ended with a trip to the emergency room, a broken macbook and a gigantic hole in the concrete of my driveway.
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
I told you I missed you and you said you missed me as much as you miss a urinary tract infection. I get it. You're still mad.
I smoked too much. I'm sitting on my balcony and I keep getting lost. Help me
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
There are two guys here arguing over Pearl jam and Nirvana. 1991 wants its argument back.
Uber southern baptist grandma and uber flaming cousin just got into an argument about whether jesus is OK with gay marriage. Aren't these things only supposed to happen at Thanksgiving?
sorry for the late response. was in jail for 6 months.
Randomize
