I need to start cutting my cocaine with Plan B
Fuck men. I'm going to go eat a package of cookie dough and get fat. I hope I die of salmonella.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Oh thank the gods of upholstery, i thought that was never coming out...
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
You did a cartwheel, it was terrible.
I remember that cartwheel, it was okay.
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
Also I've decided to start stealing shot glasses after I do the shots. You in?
Randomize
