it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
Desperate + desperate does not equal a fun night.
Are you for fucking real.? He divorced me just because he got a fucking girlfriend.?!
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Pretty much gone. He was in the backseat and kept whispering that his "toes felt like pigtails"
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Does me being hung over take away from how professional I can be today?
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
I just had a legitimate orgy. Wearing glowsticks.
Randomize
