the new term for farting is butt boxing.
Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
so its thursday, which means its time to resume communication with you
After he came inside me, he made us hold hands and pray that I wasn't pregnant.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
as he pulled out he yelled "no kids!" and then passed out on top of me
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
on the way home I asked you what exit we get off at and your answer was "just like the goldfish"
Let's go get our ovaries removed together. It'll be like bonding by getting mani/pedis, but with more vicodin and less unwanted pregnancies.
Just got attacked by a family of raccoons, I have the worst luck.
At one point, he came in to give her a pep talk, and then after he left, she just kept whispering his name into the toilet between heaves.
This means I've slept with 2 ppl that live in vans...my life is complete
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
So someone just asked us for our kidneys?!?
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