So you're telling me it's impossible to have a "slight case" of chlamydia?
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
how many dildos make it a "collection?"
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
Classic dick move. Breaking up your buddies 3-some by coming into his room and doing the Harlem Shake.
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
I just watched this dude try to convince this girl to go home with him. She was like, That's cute, you're cute.and she just walked away. Man I'm so not drunk enough to be around this level of sad.
Sext: Bring me pancakes from the midnight breakfast gathering please
Randomize
