im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
i purposely bought her a small sweater. My way of saying, you've gotten fat.
On ecstasy, in Ikea. this is incredible.
She came back in her actual cheerleader uniform. Made a bad bj tolerable.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Question: rebounding with your exboyfriend over your rebound guy is healthy right?
Did you pour a hundred fucking pounds of sand in my car last night?
lol... you weighed it?
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
View of Vancouver Bay is obscured though the greasy hand prints from fucking against the window. Tip maid well.
40s are totally the cure
Last night must have been awesome because I went to get in the shower only to find the bat symbol drawn on my chest
That happened during battle shots lol
I believe in your delicious
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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