I wanna do crazy things to you in a tent
fuckk wrong person
.. who was that for? a girlscout?
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
No, my body just knows its the weekend and wants to rage. Very different from alcoholism
If I had to give her an idea on what it means to be ur date I would compare it to being Ralph macchio's gf in the first karate kid... That's one of the coolest things I've ever said... I love drugs.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Then this bride walked into the bar, she thought it would be a good idea to hug her & then she started playing parachute with her train.
I could run a drunk marathon in heels
Can rosie odonnell just not be a lesbian? Shes stressing me out, knowing we bat for the same team.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
She told me "I think I'm going to puke tonight" a few seconds later she said smiling"I can't wait!"
i just had to ask the gas station attendant what state i was in... winning at life.
im in missouri by the way.
He's here walking around DRUNK AS FUCK in a Kobe Bryant number 8 jersey... Tucked in.
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