I swear coke makes your nose hairs grow out of control
I acted like I was still sleeping as she gathered her stuff to leave.. that's when she let one rip
my sex list reads like a who's who of mcdonald's general managers
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
hahahahaha your sister just walked down from the guest house with a stain on the front of her shirt and "owned" written in blue sharpie on her forehead. i dont think she knows what happened last night either.
Just saw a woman walking a golden retriever and a vacuum down the road. I miss downtown.
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
So I know we're not talking about this anymore buuuuuut I left heel marks on the wall.
Hiding the dark circles under my eyes this morning was like trying to hide a Beached Whale on the Couch eating Pita chips.
I guess I'm open to more types of dick now
yea but i missed the pot and poured the boiling water on my dick. shit hurts. aint nothin easy about that mac
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
You think my vibrator will be okay in the dishwasher?
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