dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Her gag reflex was as absent as a father figure must have been in her childhood
Disadvantage of being gay..... my gag reflexes makes trying to make myself throw up extremely difficult.
I just had sex with a black guy. He told me I had a big dick. I think that's God's way of saying it's okay to be gay.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
It's a big world.....someone has to fuck it.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
If I give you a key to my place you have to promise to one day wake me up with a blowjob.
And by one day I mean once every two weeks.
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
Serio, who the fuck falls down coming offstage wearing nothing but pasties, a g-string, and a fake moustache, and now suddenly needs a tetanus shot. Me. That's who.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
Randomize
