I feel like I'm in dance class right now
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Girls should come with a carfax report
I hate that the only Italian aspect of me is I get red and sweaty when I drink
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
If she makes a move, pretend to have a seizure.
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
He's high as balls tripping balls and doing a reenactment of the scene where Buzz jumps off the balcony and can't fly to his soundtrack of Toy Story.
first thing my tuition money buys is a strap on
Damn, well, it could always be worse
For sure, I could be a prison bitch right now. Thursdays aren't half bad
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I'm going to have to go for it. It's like Mt. Everest. It's large and unpredictable but I live for adventure and it's worth never coming back from. Mt. BigDick.
He is married, and has a regrettably large penis. I need to find another one right away to get myself out of this mess.
How big does a penis have to be before it becomes regrettably so?
Only good thing about the 50 Shades is that it is now completely OK to call a credit card co to dispute the charge for nipple clamps that didnt arrive.
Randomize
