If my boyfriend wants to eat his own jizz after masturbating, what does that make him?
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
just took my exes job. there should be an award for how many times I've managed to fuck that girl's life
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
I queefed so loud it echoed.
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Blowjobs in the shower are a lot like blowjobs not in the shower. Awesome.
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
He offered to buy me free breakfast if I stayed at the hotel overnight with him. I then realized they have a complimentary breakfast.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
twas supposed to be night one of rebound break but it was night one of get sloppy drunk and dance half naked in an ice shack
Randomize
