Yours is on the dinner table...mine is in my underwear drawer.
I've been watching too much manswers. Cuz i know scissoring doesn't work on a motorcycle.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
her sex was completely horrible but her weed was great. imma ask her out again
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
guys I just made $20 cause these random south african guys thought I wasn't wearing any underwear
I think I accidentally invented a religion.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize
