You do realize the lyrics aren't "hold me close TONY DANZA" right?
You can't be serious.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
HER PREGGO ASS BROUGHT SPEGHETTI-O'S... IN HER PURSE.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
I think you have the right to know, the water bottle you drank out of the other night is the bottle we use to catch what drips from the toilet. Love you!
I'll probably just close my eyes and point to a random name. That will be my vote.
I just realised how much we're failing the women's suffrage movement right now.
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
I need to be more functional. That doesn't mean I'm going to drink less, I just need to wake up and shit
No, you made a silk sheet toga and held up a dildo calling yourself "The Statue of Puberty". People made pilgrimages from the other party down the block to see you.
Probably for the best. My morning wood is pretty horrible. I wouldn't want to tip the earth's axis/ create a new magnetic pole
I'm sorry I peed on myself in front of your boy toy. You should tell him I'm usually not that trashy. It was nice meeting him tho..
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I’m excited to finally meet my stalkee and his penis!
Randomize
