when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
fighting downstairs. join me tonight to hear their makeup sex. also, let's make skittles vodka.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
Upon further investigation it turns out it wasn't blood, but chocolate frosting from the cupcake I shoved in my pocket to "save for later"
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
People shouldn't leave you two alone together. You're just going to end up having sex.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I witness him finger a girl behind the dj decks yet I'm still going to meet up with him. Wtf is my life
Dude at the bar last night came into the bathroom, drop kicked the stall open and start saying lines from happy Gilmore as he was shitting, "go in your home! Are you too good for your home?!"
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
A guy in a chewbacca suit just came up to me and asked me to buy him weed.
Okay so as of now, we may either be coming for one night, two nights, or not at all this weekend. It depends on Laura's toe and if I get my period. Will explain later
Randomize