what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
that sweater is a total boner killer. you might as well be wearing a wedding dress.
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
Beer is about to convince me to do something really stupid.
I smelled my fingers after she left and they smelt like sugar cookies. I want that one again.
i looked up and she was looking over the stall watching me pee and told me to unlock the door. that dedicated to sucking my dick.
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
Honest to god.. She looks better fat. I never would have imagined those words coming out of my mouth, EVER.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
I told her the only thing I had going for me was my huge cock. She said she was willing to overlook my other shortcomings.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
I have been adopted by a clan of drunken skinny dipping tourists.
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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