great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
She wanted to test if her costume allows her to still have sex in it. It does
Whatever, she only has 293 friends, she cant afford to be defriending me..
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
I wiped my blood on their walls screaming "IT'S NOT MY SECURITY DEPOSIT!"
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
I still have a scar from the last time she gave me a handjob. There is NO WAY i'll stick my dick anywhere near her again
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
new low: I blocked him from seeing my snapchat story in hopes he will text me because he'll be afraid I'm dead or something
She woke up next me in bed and told me to stop driving so fast.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Being single again makes you realize how guys can go from licking your asshole one night to never texting you again
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