I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
We argued about the championship during sex. Absolutely the manliest moment of my life.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
this is something i pride myself on being below average for
There are dudes in kilts outside my window practicing fire breathing with cheap vodka and a modified grill lighter. I thought you should know.
Where was your thought process?
Drowning in my hangover.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
The cup holder in my recliner holds a whole bottle of wine. That's definitely a sign.
So is the trick to long distance communication to be drunk during phone conversations?
I usually do that but weve been going unprotected with tribal fertility symbols painted above my door
Randomize
