My professor really needs to stop abbreviating. I'll never remember what "Fun. Anal. Trade-offs?" means when i study.
If its called oral, why is it so hard to talk?
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
Your boyfriend and I are bonding over your giant dick.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
FUCK ME I smuggled weed onto a plane by accident
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