Fucking hipsters really piss me off man. They are just such punk as bitches, all of them. Oh, and fuck Ed Hardy too.
Fuck, operation next sex victim is on as soon as i get back. Do not sleep with that red head, nobody likes accidental ginger babies.
so i walk in and shes blowing her vag with a hair dryer. so i asked what she was doing, she said heating up supper.. come eat ;)
i'm so jealous of you right now.
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
answer the phone. i thought i was eating cheese but it was butter. i ate a lot of it.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Just saw a guy walking down the street carrying a giant inflatable penis
Just arrived at our party
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
How does one chug a beer and swing the bottle at someone in a single motion? This guys a beer ninja man
I hooked up with a guy dressed up as morning wood. Needless to say he lived up to his costume.
I think i'm the first person to get kicked out of a club while completely sober. Come outside please!!
He interrupted me giving him head to ask if I were hungry, because he wanted to eat pizza. Wtf.
I just hooked up with a one legged Australian guy. Hooray diversity!
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
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