Those are some awfully high standards for someone of your weight
That bad?
Full length cargo pants, running shoes, and a partial unibrow. Alcohol really is blinding.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
Went to get my tattoo today. Found out the piercing girl is bi. I may just get my nipples done to get hit on tomorrow. Confidence is low these days.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
We didn't even make it to the door before they came out saying we weren't allowed in because of last time..
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I just spent a pre-4th of july celebration riding in a raft being towed by a car through a town that I've never heard of handing out flyers for a river rafting company that I never knew existed. Good night.
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I just had sex on my kitchen counter. It's like the American dream
Godammit I caught my hair on fire taking a bong rip
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