...seriously? chocolate pudding? motorboating? No one has even done that to ME and i am 69 times the whore you are
I'm getting very good at recycling my hook ups. So even though i'm having more sex... I'm the same amount of slutty.
Yes! I like to call that picking from the buffet!
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
You dislocated his arm and then bought him two shots to numb the pain while you pushed it back in
I'm ultimately at thr Shariton to drink and ppssibly puke on fancy shit. Thats my story and Im sticking to it.
Dude, I checked into a cathedral... I thought it was a joke, until I found a candle and a whole bunch of coins in my purse
Sooo the theme of my 21st is rapidly becoming Gay Mexico
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
btw my frat has a search out for you. the "girl who threw up in the middle of the party" but it was on some fat girls. so thank you.
I can't even spell what he said he was on. And I had to call 4 people before someone had heard of it.
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
She broke up with me. I guess I was in the most chaste lesbian relationship in the history of the world and had no idea.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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