rhymes with "ouble enetration"
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
Almost propositioned sex in exchange for a study guide for my final tomorrow.
So then I proceeded to the kitchen to make my "specialty," which consisted of a frozen veggie burger topped with peanut butter. I guess he ate it too.
Annnnd I didn't even notice there is a guy dancing in a jock strap beside me. That explains girls smiling at me
I just looked into the eyes of the man whose car I peed on last night
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
Spotted: shirtless guy wearing cut-off hot shorts, 1 cowboy boot and a sombrero puking in a bush while his friend yelled 'stop being a bitch" from the sidewalk'. Happy 4th of July 'merica!
Is that a question you really want to ask or do you just want to tell you that I can't walk without feeling like my legs are collapsing underneath me
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
And you were like wow I love water shots they taste so good
That was my first party and they were so suprised that this little freshman girl was a FUCKING BEER PONG QUEEN.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
The ass gains better be worth it
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