I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
Last night my friend tried to make out with me in an olive garden. Ahahah
Nothing says 'I love you' like never ending salad and breadsticks
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
well he is only 50 percent black.. but after last night i am 100 percent not going back
There was a huge crash. I came out of my room to find you sprawled out at the bottom of the stairs in your bra and panties. You looked at me, yelled 'WHAT AM I DOING WITH MY LIFE' and then ran back into his room.
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
Stoned stonnnnnnned on the raaaaange
According to the boxer briefs I found on the couch when I got home, I take it your date went well??
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
hold on i need to sex proof my eyelashes. thank godd for waterproof mascara
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