the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
and his room smelled like strippers, childrens tears, and fear
I'm not saying going to the volleyball games drunk on Tuesday night was a bad idea I'm just saying we shouldn't make a routine of it.
I think u should go home and go to bed. If u get arrested in the Ohio river u go to jail in Kentucky. Nobody wants to go to jail in KY.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
Like he and the nurses kept being so persistent with it and I just wanted to run out of there in my backless gown and yell FUCK OFF BITCHES IM OUT
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
He spent three years trying to get a chance with me and finally broke me down. then he came in two minutes and was so upset he locked himself in the bathroom so I helped myself to his weed and left. Wanna get stoned?
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
