you ran into the room and announced "I JUST FUCKED HER IN THE ASS". apparently you forgot she left the bedroom 5 minutes before you and was standing with us all.
we just stared at taco bell's menu on the website for 2 hours
I don't even have to turn the heat on in my car. Just fart the whole way home.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
I misjudged the power of my pelvic thrusting capabilities. His nose is broken. Thoughts?
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
I hope you get a lego stuck in your dickhole
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
Randomize
