I asked him where the store BJ's was and he unzipped his pants.
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I dont think that drinking by ourselves on a saturday night counts as being "fun alcoholics"
took 4 advil with a shot of vodka, figure i'd try to save myself now
SURVIVED FINALS. CAN'T DIE FROM ALCOHOL POISONING. NOTHER SHOT. CAPS.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I don't remember much, but my night is dated pre-Jaeger and post-Jaeger. Also, my boss may or may not have tucked me in.
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Also I fell in love w a girl dressed as a pirate that was great at doing the limbo
I just drove my booty call to his booty call, if that isn't spreading the love, I don't know what is.
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
You don't marry someone you don't want to fuck senseless this is 2014 dammit
I just saw a kid on iowa campus story that looked like the guy i made out with on spring break.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
Randomize
