New word for getting laid so we don't sound like whores in public when we are talking about it : stamp the passport
when did we get so old that our friends started having LEGITIMATE children?
I don't understand but I fell asleep naked holding a tub of cool whip and a boiled egg
I legit just said "vaginal access denied" then told him his password hint was "tequila shots"
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
I can't believe you're asking me to think of a sincere, creative way to apologize to your penis at 2 am.
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
She's high and screaming MEREDITH IS A WHORE
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
It seems that Coffee is the true alpha male.
I swear to god my spidey sense only tingles when someone’s about to die or you’re being a hoe.
He stopped eating me out to remind me to look at the stars
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
Oh, do you remember telling everyone you were with that your vagina was angry last night?
Randomize