Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
We named our party play list daddy issues
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
is it sad that i can honestly say it was the best birthday sex i've ever had and it was still terrible?
threw up in the kitchen showroom. home depot employee of the month.
Yea he doesn't really know about any of this yet but my game plan is to keep wowing him with my vagina and cooking skills. It's up too future me to handle the rest.
He? As in you personified your dick?
I just spent 3 hours in the back of an unmarked police cruiser. Best. Date. Ever.
I yelled at him as he left "you broke up with me. You lost your blow job privileges"
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
Your drunk self managed to not pee on anyone's bed
Go me
I'm actually proud
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
You left me a note that said "The Earth is blowing up. Bring the Rosé." WTF.
Randomize
