Boobs. All I remember is boobs.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
You stuck your head out the window to puke and got hit with a mailbox.
He filled our room with little plastic cups of beer so the only way I could get out was by drinking them all.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
Half the people who compete die. All the rest either lose their minds or grow an innate fear of sharks, vodka, and fishbowls
I feel like somebody ate me, then shit me into my bed.
Lets just say I chased with a burrito.
Dude, you went to another fraternity's formal as a joke and came home with one of their dates. AND you managed to get her number. Please explain to me how that's not a good night.
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
He told me to be a woman and make him dinner. So I threw a bagel at him and went out to dinner.
Literally just stood behind a guy in line at Walmart get his card declined when he attempted to purchase condoms. That's rock bottom.
On the brightside we know now that empty pringle cans are accepted at mcdonalds as cups.... Screw people who judged us, we saved a buck
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