Dude, the girl i fucked last night left wearing my high school musical shirt you bought me. she also left her panties here though.
The one with Zac Efrons face on it? You definitely got the short in of the stick. i'd rather have the shirt
fuck. yeah me too. i don't even think these panties would fit me
protesters in toronto definately have the best pot
two questions - what stuff of mine was pawned and who has the pawn tickets.
Woke up today to the sound of church bells. My first thought was shit the apocalypse, but then I remembered my hook up lives next to a church. This might be a rough day.
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I forgot about snapchatting a pic of us, but I remember flossing with your hair.
If you end up wanting to sit on his face, just make a sound like a dying giraffe and I'll make myself scarce.
I feel like I spent all day wearing underpants made entirely of poison ivy and sandpaper
Not all of us can be into hot dads. Some of us have to have commitment issues and be into musicians.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize
