So I'm stoned for 420, and have an eye doctor appointment in fifteen minutes
Are your eyes okay
I mean if I was Asian they would be
I woke up and my panties were thumbtacked to his wall. Out of my reach.
after everytime she pucked, she insisted on us all giving her high fives
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
It's confirmed I did eat a ping pong ball last night...
you woke me up at 7 am banging on my wall.. what the hell
thats the international knock for joint time
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
Called my dealer in tears and we talked for an hour until I felt better. That's the way it should be.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
You're not horrible. Thank you for my pandas.
My vagina is officially offended.
I love you with the passion of a thousand FUCKBOYS during the height of week 1 texting
Had a dream I dropped the L word and immediately threatened to kill myself
You probably shouldn't be having nightmares about expressing affection
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
Randomize
