think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
You proceeded to call me a hoe and then informed me that Bear Grylls is and always will be more important than I am to you.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
you left your shoes but remembered to take your vodka. i see where your priorities are.
lets grab drinks (in a friendly, not super awkward because ive eaten your ass kind of way) sometime soon
wow.
He skyped me to learn how to roll a joint and for us to masturbate together. And you said a long distance relationship wouldn't work.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
Dude are you wearing a trashbag right now?....
I seemed to have misplaced my pants...
There's a ton of international students in my suite and I'm just sitting in this chair with no pants on eating frosted flakes
I just took the batteries out of the xbox remote so she could replace the dead ones in her vibrator If that's not love I don't know what is
Never doubt me. I am drunk and unstoppable and I will finish this book
That's brilliant but could get us arrested. Give me shots until I shout LET'S DO THIS
You ruined the universe
This is why I love being gay. I could never afford that much birth control.
Randomize
