Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
Puked in a cab. Passed out on my floor an my mom put a blanket over me. Home by 1045. I won shitshow trophy last night.
Last day of classes. 1st day attending every class. I'm proud of myself
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I like to think that tonight was Jesus punishing James Cameron for his role in popularizing "My Heart Will Go On."
Registered for next semester classes drunk. Let's hope I didn't accidently sign up for history of dinosaurs again...
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
I'm just saying. If this how my magic vagina shows it's magic then I don't want any
I think I just gave my niece a weed pinata...
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
All the movies on cable here are either porn or Bollywood. I am never leaving this hotel.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
I called him Oliver all night
His name is Brandon
Dude... Those don't even start with the same letter...
I really wanted you to make me eggs this afternoon. I even wrote it on my hand to remind myself.
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