I gotta feeling the economic climate has killed the housewife market
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
while we were making out your friend starting kissing my toes and all you had to say was "just go with it"
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
Lesson learned. Kayak oars are not golf clubs....check
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
some people waaaaait a lifetime for a hookuppp like this some people seeeearch forever for that one special handjobbb
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
You let someone poor beer into my mouth off of a balcony. Best friend test failed.
Haahahahahahhaaa
All my female reproductive organs were screaming HELL YES last night.
I'm at home, drunk, and I just called the guy I lost my virginity to and invited him to my wedding.. I've got to stop drinking by myself.
Randomize
