there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
We were walking up the stairs and I asked Dominick what floor the party was on. The cop who had just tried breaking it up was walking down the stairs, drinking a slurpee, and answered, "Third floor."
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
i just googled coccaine effects on sexual performance..maybe im dating the wrong guy
He used pronouns for his penis while sexting. I don't know what I did to deserve this.
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
Did we just second hand smoke crack?
If he knew how badly I want to blow him he’d stop talking about his wife
Randomize